The theme of my FMP links in with identity. I went on an educational visit to the "Who Am I?" exhibition at the Science Museum which explores the science of who you are and what makes your unique identity. Although the exhibition takes a scientific approach to identity, I thought it was still worth looking for inspiration.
The exhibition had several information boards, displays and lots of interactive activities. Here are some quotes from the information boards:
"Your identity is shaped by the people you meet and the things that happen to you."
"Your face gives you away - it reveals your gender, your heritage and your feelings"
"You are the sum of your experiences: your memory fashions your identity."
"You have so much in common with everyone else, but because your brain is shaped by your experience of life, you are also unique"
"Your environment also shaped the way you look"
The exhibition was not as useful to my project as I was hoping it to be. The information given in the exhibition just repeated things I already knew. Your experiences form your identity. The subjects I have focused on for my project have become who they are due to significant life experiences i.e. running away, battling cancer. How you look also tells people something about you. Unfortunately I did not find the exhibition a source of inspiration. I will look for my visits I can go to that will really benefit my project. I have already thoroughly researched my theme. I want to go on more research visits based on design and image, which will inspire the aesthetics of my photo shoot.
Monday, 26 March 2012
Imagined Lives/Truth, Lies and Portraiture
I visited the Imagined Lives: Portraits of Unknown People exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery: http://www.npg.org.uk/whatson/display/2011/imagined-lives-portraits-of-unknown-people.php
This exhibition was a display of old portraits of people whose identity was lost or uncertain. As part of the exhibition, internationally renowned authors wrote short stories to accompany each portrait, imagining the lives of these unknown people based on speculation of who these people could be and what these portraits reveal about their identity.
This exhibition provided me with inspiration for my project because I will also be creating my own back stories to inspire my two photo shoots. The exhibition also showed me that we judge a lot on people's appearances and that people think they can gather a lot from how someone looks. From my photo shoot I want the onlooker to be able to grasp how the subject feels and what they may be going through. For this to happen I will need to take particular notice to the relationship between the subjects' images and how they are perceived. I will judge whether I have been successful in conveying a particular mood and character through peer and tutor feedback.
I also attended a talk at the National Portrait Gallery which took place on the 15th March. The event was called Philosophy Salon: Truth, Lies and Portraiture: http://www.npg.org.uk/whatson/late-shift-1/philosophy-salon-truth-lies-and-portraiture.php. The talk focused on portraits from the Elizabethan period, including portraits of the Queen herself. The talk was not as relevant to my project as I was hoping it to be. However, the group did discuss what we gathered about the subjects in the portraits just by looking at the painting. This also showed how powerful image can be in how someone is percieved.
This exhibition was a display of old portraits of people whose identity was lost or uncertain. As part of the exhibition, internationally renowned authors wrote short stories to accompany each portrait, imagining the lives of these unknown people based on speculation of who these people could be and what these portraits reveal about their identity.
This exhibition provided me with inspiration for my project because I will also be creating my own back stories to inspire my two photo shoots. The exhibition also showed me that we judge a lot on people's appearances and that people think they can gather a lot from how someone looks. From my photo shoot I want the onlooker to be able to grasp how the subject feels and what they may be going through. For this to happen I will need to take particular notice to the relationship between the subjects' images and how they are perceived. I will judge whether I have been successful in conveying a particular mood and character through peer and tutor feedback.
I also attended a talk at the National Portrait Gallery which took place on the 15th March. The event was called Philosophy Salon: Truth, Lies and Portraiture: http://www.npg.org.uk/whatson/late-shift-1/philosophy-salon-truth-lies-and-portraiture.php. The talk focused on portraits from the Elizabethan period, including portraits of the Queen herself. The talk was not as relevant to my project as I was hoping it to be. However, the group did discuss what we gathered about the subjects in the portraits just by looking at the painting. This also showed how powerful image can be in how someone is percieved.
Friday, 23 March 2012
Life stories
In my statement of intent I stated that I would be creating my own back story for each subject (the teenage runaway and the teenage cancer patient), inspired by true life stories which I will research using websites and articles.
I read several stories on teenage runaways and teenage cancer patients, both from the UK and America and wrote summaries on 5 stories for each subject. I also created two mood boards of quotes from true stories to inspire my own back stories.
Teenage Runaways:
Sarah's Story:
Sarah never knew her dad but her mum had a string of boyfriends. They would physically and verbally abuse Sarah and so would her mum. She was being severely bullied at school and had to move because of the trauma. She was soon bullied at her new school too. At 15 she met people who she felt were genuine friends but her mum disliked them. One night the two had an argument about Sarah going out and her mum told her she wouldn't let her see her friends again. Sarah ran upstairs and packed a few things then ran away.
Social services couldn't give Sarah a place to stay because she wasn't being abused at that time and hostels wouldn't take her in because she was under 16 so she just slept in a telephone box. She went back to her mum the next day who forced her to go to school where she ran away again.
Fortunately she wasn't living on the streets for long because she found out about a project which helps runaway kids. The project workers listened to and believed her story and helped her find a safe place to stay and get her feet on the ground.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4554421.stm
Anonymous Story:
At age 15 this girl was very naive and self assured. She thought she didn't need a family and was influenced by many friends who had runaway. She did not have an extremely unsettled home but had lots of rows with her mum. One day she had a particularly bad argument and her mum said lots of horrible things out of anger e.g. she was no longer her daughter. The girl then moved to her grandparents. They were a bit too overprotective and she felt smothered and that she had no life. She desperately wanted to be an adult and her "runaway friends" had a camp in the woods. Things were very calm with her grandparents but one night she planned to runaway. Moments after leaving she felt regret and scared but did not return out of pride.
She hitchhiked to the woods where she found a different unexpected set of people but who welcomed her nonetheless. She hooked up and started a life with a much older man whom she stayed with for 8 months. He began being very abusive and she felt trapped. She ran away to stay at a friends but he found her, severely abused her and left her in a critical condition. There was blood everywhere, she had broken bones and her face was gashed open. She called on her neighbour for help and was sent to hospital where she was well looked after very well and stayed for two and a half weeks. She needed plastic surgery on her face, 40 stitched on her head and a cast on her arm and hand. She talked to police who sent her back to her family. The man who abused her was sent to prison. She has a permanent scar under her left eye from the incident. She is a survivor of running away. She is a lot older now and has a secure life with children.
http://mod2vint.hubpages.com/hub/I-Was-A-Teenage-Runaway
Amanda and Stephanie's Story:
Amanda and Stephanie are sisters. They had a very happy and secure childhood, and were smart, popular, and well behaved at school. However when Amanda was 12 and Stephanie was 10, their parents went through a bitter divorce and they moved away with their mum. Their mum tried to sustain a happy, secure life for her children but was very stressed working to support them. In hindsight the girls say they really needed to talk to her at that stage but she was too busy and wasn't communicating well. They had a need for a lot of angry self expression. What seemed like typical rebellion turned to a large partake in alcohol, drug use and street subculture. They started causing trouble at school and would bunk together.
There was an incident where Amanda overdosed on pills at her dad's house. Their mum continued trying desperately to control and protect the girls form their wild behaviour which was spinning out of control. She sent them away to a programme for troubled teens. She then put them in foster care for a while. At ages 16 and 14, living at home, they met a group of young "travellers" and caught the train down south and disappeared. Their mum woke up and didn't have a clue where they were. They lived in abandoned buildings and under bridges. They started taking even more drugs. Amanda eventually overdosed on heroin and returned home to her mum, 3 months after disappearing. Stephanie still wouldn't let her mother know of her whereabouts until another 6 months when she called for money and was eventually persuaded to return home. About a decade on Amanda is now a mum of two, Stephanie is a college student and mother and daughters are now really close and strong as a family unit.
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20264327,00.html
Rebecca's Story:
Rebecca's abusive father left home when she was 12. That's when she started using drugs to escape her pain. At age 13 her mum found a new partner who moved in. He raped Rebecca regularly, abused her younger sisters, and also beat her mum up. She made her mum choose between her and her boyfriend and when her mum chose her boyfriend she ran away and lived on the streets. She initially stayed with friends then slept with guys from the neighbourhood to keep a roof over her head. She had to leave the suburbs for the city streets. She slept in abandoned houses and buildings and lived on the streets with other young people like her. She started severely cutting herself. She tried to commit suicide a few times. She was very lonely, had no family, had developed very low confidence and self esteem and felt that there was no one in the world that cared about her or who was willing to listen. Then she met the volunteers. They listened to regularly visited her and listened to her. They gave her personal attention and made her feel she was cared for.
http://www.homeless.org.au/people/rebecca.htm
Elle's Story:
Elle ran away from her home in rural south Wales at age 14 and came to Kings Cross. Within days she met a drug dealer who planned to take advantage of her. He supplied her with free heroin for 2 weeks, saying she could pay him back later, after which she was completely dependent. He provided protection from other dealers and those who would have raped her. However, he would drug her up and have sex with her whenever he wanted. When she owed him well over a thousand dollars and was completely hooked, he told her to pay back the debt in 3 days or work as a prostitute in a brothel to work of the debt. Otherwise her throat would be cut.
She could not approach a charity as they would not pay a drug dealer and if she told the police she would be found out and killed. She has previously ignored warning of other homeless people not to get involved with a drug dealer but when she was in trouble, she sought help from them. Over the next 3 days, the homeless people raised the money from stealing, dealing drugs and prostitution. Elle was then taken to the station by the same homeless people and given money for a train home. They told her if she was ever seen again in Kings Cross she would be beaten within an inch of her life. They told her to take the chance and never come back. Being young and naive, in the process of getting to know the dealer, she had given her real name and said where her parents live, so she is still at risk.
http://www.homeless.org.au/people/elle.htm
I also found an article from the guardian on runaways
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/apr/23/childrensservices.observermagazine
which I thought had some interesting and some harrowing facts:
Here is a list of other websites I visited for research:
Research Analysis:
The models in my photo shoot will both be female. Therefore I thought it was best to represent female runaways only so this is who I researched. At the start of my research, I stated that I will be using the findings from my research to inspire me to create my own back story which I will then base my "look" on. However, once I researched further, I recognised many similarities between stories of different runaways. I then began thinking of runaways as a separate subculture. I have now decided to base my "look" on the collective experiences of runaways, just like the aesthetic of punk expressed the collective experiences of a particular group of people.
Runaways usually come from damaged families, and have been abused or neglected by parents. Running from home can be traced back many times to poor relationships with parents. Arguments with parents sometimes offset running away. The subjects I researched were often very vulnerable, naive and deeply troubled. They are often people who have a lack of support or options, feel trapped and feel the need to escape. Running away is often a cry for help and an expression of emotional pain or distress. As well as coming from disrupted families, many people who have runaway have also been bullied or felt very unloved and alone. Those who runaway are also often at an age where they are dealing with a very hormonal and emotionally unsettled stage of their life so this coupled with deep personal problems takes an emotional toll.
Girls are statistically more likely to runaway than boys and are more at risk from rape, abuse and exploitation on the streets. Many feel so unhappy at home they become desperate and run towards these dangers, regardless of the consequences. On the streets, hey often indulge in drugs and alcohol and many turn to crime. Cases where very young girls have been "groomed" by much older men were common.
With the makeup/styling/photo shoot, I want to express emotion and feeling. I imagine the thoughts and feelings of these runaways to be of hurt, confusion, loss, neglect, exhaustion, fear and anger, to name a few.
Teenage Cancer Patients:
Freya's Story:
Freya's best friend Lottie was diagnosed with cancer. Her right calf was swollen and painful. Doctors suggested it was a blood clot or badly set broken bone before diagnosing cancer. When Freya heard the news she felt distant and cried a lot. She wrote Lottie a card but didn't really know what to do. Lottie had an operation to remove a bone and tendon from her calf. She had a month's chemotherapy and her hair fell out. She would always wear wig and makeup.
One year on and Lottie was celebrating going into remission. However, a couple of weeks later the cancer returned and spread up the blood vessels in her leg. She was going to have to have her leg amputated but still wanted everything to carry on as normal. She found it difficult losing the ability to be independent. She couldn't get around by herself and became very self conscious. However, she remained positive and received a lot of visitors. She then had her final and most aggressive chemotherapy. She received a lot of cards, letters and presents during this time.
The chemotherapy had to be delayed because her liver wasn't functioning properly. By the time they realised what the problem was, the cancer had spread to her lungs, back and abdomen. Lottie told Freya "they can't cure me". She had been given a terminal diagnosis. Lottie remained friendly and positive towards others and carried on with friends as normal. Eventually Lottie passed away but her friends, including Freya were determined to carry on her memory and move on and stay positive.
http://www.teenagecancertrust.org/get-clued-up/young-peoples-stories/freya-gamlen/
Christina's Story:
At age 18, Christina was diagnosed with cancer in right thigh. Two years prior, the lump in her leg had been diagnosed as something else. Two years later, her leg began really hurting and the lump grew larger. Her parents kept putting the doctors off because they didn't want to believe anything was wrong with their daughter. Finally, when they did see someone, she was told she would need a biopsy on her right thigh. She couldn't believe she might have cancer. She tried to distract herself by going out whilst waiting for results. When she went to give her the results, she was given the diagnosis. At that moment, her life had changed forever and she cried and cried. Her mum tried to comfort her.
Christina would need four sessions of chemo, each a week long, then chemo for 6 weeks then surgery. She started seeing the world from a different view. She was petrified about what would happen, how her life would change, and how she would cope. It was a big blow losing her hair but she got a human hair wig. She lost many friends but learned who her true ones were. She was able to start college but missed out on a lot of classes and college parties during chemo. She found the chemo very scary but tried to keep a good attitude.
She became overly depressed when her friends left for college but seeing a therapist really helped deal with and understand her situation.
Christina started getting better during radiation therapy. She started going out more and having fun. Luckily she had not got sick or lost weight during treatment. She was relieved when her hair grew back afterwards. She began taking online college classes as she was determined not to fall behind. She eventually had surgery to remove the tumour and had to go to physical therapy once her treatment was over.
Christina did end up surviving cancer. She said it was scary going through cancer and not knowing what will happen. However, it made her a lot stronger and more mature. Her advice as a survivor is to have a positive attitude, to take everyday as it comes, and to not stop living life.
http://www.teenslivingwithcancer.org/category/community/survivor-stories/
Mel's Story:
Mel's dad died of cancer when she was a small girl. She spent her 10th birthday in hospital, diagnosed with cancer. Her parents kept a lot of secrets about her condition from her to keep her safe. This just made her even more scared and upset. She felt pain inside her body but didn't know what was wrong with her. Her hair fell but her mum assured her it would grow back but did not tell her why it was falling out. Her parents eventually began telling her a little more about her condition. They told her she had Leukaemia and said it was like the flu. They cried a lot. Mel still didn't fully understand her condition. She thought once she was cured she could not get the cancer again. Then she realised she could. She struggled with this lack of control.
One day when Mel was playing baseball, she got hit in the knee and plummeted to the ground in pain. The bone had been broken and she was diagnosed in hospital, this time with bone cancer. A tumour was growing under the knee which weakened it, causing it to break. She cried when the doctor explained her condition. The chemotherapy made her really sick. She was devastated because she couldn't play the sports she wanted due to risk of infection. This made her really depressed and she didn't want to do anything. There was a possibility of a leg amputation. Mel felt her whole world falling apart. She started questioning whether she deserved her condition or whether she was to blame. She lost all hope and felt there was nothing to look forward to.
Then doctor gave her good news; with more chemo she should be cured. From then on, Mel became more hopeful and positive. She started paying attention to visitors and realised she was much loved. Her older brothers visited every day. She got better and went back to being a regular teenager. Then on one 6 month check-up, she was diagnosed again with Leukaemia. She locked herself in her room and didn't eat, just slept. She didn't care anymore; she had got really depressed again. She didn't listen to her parents, she ignored visits and presents, missed school and lost contact with most friends. Then, one day her best friend came to visit. She was really embarrassed because she smelt really bad, her hair was dirty and she didn't want him to see her like this. He told her not to give up and she agreed to her first session of chemo.
Mel's body wasn't responding to the chemo and a bone marrow transplant was suggested. The transplant would come from one of her older brothers, which he was happy to offer if it meant his sister's recovery. During the surgery she had a large group of family and friends waiting and supporting her which gave her strength. Her body did accept her brother's bone marrow. She just had to go for checkups after that. The experience had made her scared but a whole lot stronger. It has now been 8 months since Mel's surgery and she is still healthy. She says of the experience that it changed her as a person. She doesn't care about little things anymore, she takes alot less for granted and it has given her the strength to deal with other things that have happened in her life since. She feels that she couldn't have done it without friends and family. She has learnt to have faith, be optimistic, and let love in, as it makes you stronger. She tried to remove herself from loved ones as she did not want to hurt them but wished she hadn't. Sometimes she wishes she did not have to experience having cancer 3 times but then she thinks she would not be the same person.
http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa011101a.htm
Amanda's Story:
Her mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer when Amanda was aged 11 and on the date of her brother's birthday. The whole family was in shock and disbelief. Amanda was very young and didn't really know exactly what cancer was. She had heard of it but never thought it would affect her. She didn't understand the change the family would go through. She was scared and confused and the thought of losing her mum was unbearable.
Her mum at first seemed fine and healthy. Then the cancer got more aggressive and spread. She began having bouts of chemo and radiation therapy. She lost her health, energy, figure and hair but remained strong and positive. Her mum's courage and strength made Amanda believe she would get better.
Then it all came crashing down; her mum was told she only had 2 weeks to live unless she had an operation. This made Amanda very nervous but the operation turned out to be successful and she believed everything would be ok again. However, a couple of months later, she got sick again and the cancer got bigger. This time, she was told she had 3 days to live unless she had a major operation which was very dangerous. She was put in intensive care. There she developed a blood clot in her arm and leg which was really dangerous. She couldn't speak because of a breathing tube. She got a little better and was released from intensive care but decided to stay in the hospice where she stopped having treatment.
At that moment, everything sunk in for Amanda. She realised how hard her mum had fought but that she was extremely ill. Her mum aimed to be home for Christmas which she was. After Christmas, the whole family went on holiday. Everything seemed to be getting better again but this time Amanda new the cancer was still there and that she couldn't anticipate what would happen. On holiday her mum had several fits and was emitted back into hospital. There, she went into a coma. Amanda's dad explained the reality and that she would die. She eventually passed away. After she passed, people remarked on how well Amanda was coping, although she thought this was a facade. She eventually found out about a cancer support group from her sister. Since joining, they have helped her cope really well and she has made several great friends with similar experiences.
http://www.nowwhat.org.au/stories/view/i-was-scared-and-confused
Lisa's Story:
It was Lisa's last year of high school and she had just gotten over glandular fever. She had exams coming up and was preparing for upcoming football matches, hoping to make captain, so had a lot on her mind. Things seemed to be going well until she found a bruise on her upper leg. The mark was so dark she initially thought it was dirt and tried to wipe it off but didn't think much of it. After a few weeks, more bruises appeared on her knees and ankles. Her mum and most of her friends weren't too worried and said it was probably late effects from the glandular fever or low iron.
Then one morning, Lisa woke up with a bruise the size of a grapefruit on her back leg. Her mum booked an appointment with their GP right away. The morning before the appointment, blood blisters developed on her tongue, her inner mouth and her lips. Her mum took her to the doctor right away who sent her straight to the hospital. In the emergency ward she felt weak and cold. She was admitted over night but thought nothing of it. She was given extensive blood and bone marrow tests. After the tests she was diagnosed with leukaemia. She was told they caught it quick and she would not have survived past 6 weeks otherwise. She was complete shock.
Her hair fell out very quickly after treatments began. She missed a lot of school, rarely saw friends and missed all the fun parts of the last year. She really didn't want to repeat her last year. When she got a little better she received a visit from a cancer support group patient and staff member. It really helped sharing cancer experience stories. She couldn't do anything by herself apart from sleep but she stayed positive and believed that everything happens for a reason.
Her friends told her she had become a better person from the experience. Lisa thinks it was all down to the cancer support group. She met lots of great new people from the group. Cancer made her see what was really important; exams and petty fights with friends didn't matter as much. Being sick gave her time to think who she was and what she wanted to do with her life. She learnt to appreciate others more and to see the best in people. She realised how much she appreciated and loved her family.
Lisa will soon have been in remission for a year. She is currently studying photography. Even though the medical treatments sometimes get her down a bit, she tries to make her life as happy as possible and lives life to the full. She says you never know how long you are going to have and at anytime something could happen that changes your world.
http://www.canteen.org.au/default.asp?articleid=797&menuid=86
Research Analysis:
Like with the runaways, the victims of cancer I researched shared similar experiences, thoughts and emotions. I will also be looking at cancer victims as a subgroup, whose collective experiences and feelings will be reflected in my finished "look". Cancer is a very emotive subject. I have
Cancer is a physically and emotionally painful experience. It is common for victims of cancer and their friends and family to experience feelings of distance once the diagnosis has been made. Some patients purposely distances themselves from loved ones as they do not want to hurt them or they feel shame. It is a very emotionally distressing time for all involved. Both the victim and those they are close often have a complete loss of what to do and feel helpless and powerless. These feelings are amplified when the diagnosis is terminal and they have to struggle with the inevitability that they are fighting a losing battle and soon their body won't be able to keep up anymore. I can imagine it must be completely shattering feeling that the cancer is slowly destroying you. Imagine it would feel like hitting a dead end and feeling let down.
A significant experience from battling cancer is losing your hair from chemotherapy. This usually makes cancer patients very self conscious and it greatly affects their confidence. For some people, hair plays a huge part in shaping your identity, most commonly in females. By losing their hair, the foundation of what makes them them, is being stripped away which must be very soul destroying. The loss of independence can be a big blow. Cancer patients find themselves weakening and that they can't do things they once took for granted. It might feel like you're starting to fade away. This is why many cancer sufferers end up being depressed, lose hope and faith and feel like giving up. When you keep fighting, and keep getting sick, like those who have had cancer multiple times, it must be very disheartening. It's also really hard for teenagers with cancer because they have to miss out on many key experiences and social aspects of growing up.
Some start blaming themselves and questioning whether they deserve what is happening to them. The truth is cancer can happen to anyone and it is inevitable. The struggle with coming to terms with their situation is very difficult. They have a complete lack of control over their circumstances. Some go through denial and don't want to believe they are actually sick. The initial reactions to a diagnosis are often shock, confusion, disbelief and fear. These feelings must be very overwhelming. It can feel like their whole world is falling apart. Unlike the victims from the runaway stories, cancer patients cannot runaway from their problems. Cancer is very real and stays with you wherever you go. Accepting this is heartbreaking.
Another thing to think about is those who are indirectly affected by the cancer. When the patient is really young, sometimes the parents are very overprotecting and keep secrets from them to save them from distress. This can make the sufferer even more scared, upset and alone. Some people lose loved ones to cancer and many find it hard to cope. It can make them feel like they're crashing and breaking down inside. However, some can find the strength and support to carry on and preserve the victim's memory.
These stories also have a positive side to them. Suffering from cancer is usually a time that these people find a lot of love and support from those they are close to. Although it changes their life for ever, many people gain a new, positive perspective on life. People who have suffered cancer usually take less for granted and then live life to the full if they recover. A lot of people think they become better people from cancer. When the patient is so young, they definitely become more mature as they are forced to grow up fast to deal with their situation. Cancer really tests the capacity of a person. Among the positive attributes people find within themselves when they have cancer are hope, faith, strength and courage. Many show a lot of determination to fight the cancer, especially for their loved ones. Some cancer stories do have a happy ending and some people do survive. The feelings of the patient and their loved ones when this happens are relief and joy.
One of tutors looked at my life story research to check my progress. She suggested that to improve my research I could talk to real people who have experienced running away or cancer. Although this would provide me with primary research I do not think it is necessary. All the stories I researched were real life stories and were very open and honest. I do not want to spend anymore time researching the theme as I have enough adequate information to inspire me and the development and creation stages will be very time consuming. Also, both subjects are very sensitive and I think I would find it hard finding the right people willing to talk about their experiences.
I want to begin generating initial designs very soon. Before designing, I will produce a few mind maps in my sketch book on my theme to focus my design ideas.
I read several stories on teenage runaways and teenage cancer patients, both from the UK and America and wrote summaries on 5 stories for each subject. I also created two mood boards of quotes from true stories to inspire my own back stories.
Teenage Runaways:
Sarah's Story:
Sarah never knew her dad but her mum had a string of boyfriends. They would physically and verbally abuse Sarah and so would her mum. She was being severely bullied at school and had to move because of the trauma. She was soon bullied at her new school too. At 15 she met people who she felt were genuine friends but her mum disliked them. One night the two had an argument about Sarah going out and her mum told her she wouldn't let her see her friends again. Sarah ran upstairs and packed a few things then ran away.
Social services couldn't give Sarah a place to stay because she wasn't being abused at that time and hostels wouldn't take her in because she was under 16 so she just slept in a telephone box. She went back to her mum the next day who forced her to go to school where she ran away again.
Fortunately she wasn't living on the streets for long because she found out about a project which helps runaway kids. The project workers listened to and believed her story and helped her find a safe place to stay and get her feet on the ground.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4554421.stm
Anonymous Story:
At age 15 this girl was very naive and self assured. She thought she didn't need a family and was influenced by many friends who had runaway. She did not have an extremely unsettled home but had lots of rows with her mum. One day she had a particularly bad argument and her mum said lots of horrible things out of anger e.g. she was no longer her daughter. The girl then moved to her grandparents. They were a bit too overprotective and she felt smothered and that she had no life. She desperately wanted to be an adult and her "runaway friends" had a camp in the woods. Things were very calm with her grandparents but one night she planned to runaway. Moments after leaving she felt regret and scared but did not return out of pride.
She hitchhiked to the woods where she found a different unexpected set of people but who welcomed her nonetheless. She hooked up and started a life with a much older man whom she stayed with for 8 months. He began being very abusive and she felt trapped. She ran away to stay at a friends but he found her, severely abused her and left her in a critical condition. There was blood everywhere, she had broken bones and her face was gashed open. She called on her neighbour for help and was sent to hospital where she was well looked after very well and stayed for two and a half weeks. She needed plastic surgery on her face, 40 stitched on her head and a cast on her arm and hand. She talked to police who sent her back to her family. The man who abused her was sent to prison. She has a permanent scar under her left eye from the incident. She is a survivor of running away. She is a lot older now and has a secure life with children.
http://mod2vint.hubpages.com/hub/I-Was-A-Teenage-Runaway
Amanda and Stephanie's Story:
Amanda and Stephanie are sisters. They had a very happy and secure childhood, and were smart, popular, and well behaved at school. However when Amanda was 12 and Stephanie was 10, their parents went through a bitter divorce and they moved away with their mum. Their mum tried to sustain a happy, secure life for her children but was very stressed working to support them. In hindsight the girls say they really needed to talk to her at that stage but she was too busy and wasn't communicating well. They had a need for a lot of angry self expression. What seemed like typical rebellion turned to a large partake in alcohol, drug use and street subculture. They started causing trouble at school and would bunk together.
There was an incident where Amanda overdosed on pills at her dad's house. Their mum continued trying desperately to control and protect the girls form their wild behaviour which was spinning out of control. She sent them away to a programme for troubled teens. She then put them in foster care for a while. At ages 16 and 14, living at home, they met a group of young "travellers" and caught the train down south and disappeared. Their mum woke up and didn't have a clue where they were. They lived in abandoned buildings and under bridges. They started taking even more drugs. Amanda eventually overdosed on heroin and returned home to her mum, 3 months after disappearing. Stephanie still wouldn't let her mother know of her whereabouts until another 6 months when she called for money and was eventually persuaded to return home. About a decade on Amanda is now a mum of two, Stephanie is a college student and mother and daughters are now really close and strong as a family unit.
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20264327,00.html
Rebecca's Story:
Rebecca's abusive father left home when she was 12. That's when she started using drugs to escape her pain. At age 13 her mum found a new partner who moved in. He raped Rebecca regularly, abused her younger sisters, and also beat her mum up. She made her mum choose between her and her boyfriend and when her mum chose her boyfriend she ran away and lived on the streets. She initially stayed with friends then slept with guys from the neighbourhood to keep a roof over her head. She had to leave the suburbs for the city streets. She slept in abandoned houses and buildings and lived on the streets with other young people like her. She started severely cutting herself. She tried to commit suicide a few times. She was very lonely, had no family, had developed very low confidence and self esteem and felt that there was no one in the world that cared about her or who was willing to listen. Then she met the volunteers. They listened to regularly visited her and listened to her. They gave her personal attention and made her feel she was cared for.
http://www.homeless.org.au/people/rebecca.htm
Elle's Story:
Elle ran away from her home in rural south Wales at age 14 and came to Kings Cross. Within days she met a drug dealer who planned to take advantage of her. He supplied her with free heroin for 2 weeks, saying she could pay him back later, after which she was completely dependent. He provided protection from other dealers and those who would have raped her. However, he would drug her up and have sex with her whenever he wanted. When she owed him well over a thousand dollars and was completely hooked, he told her to pay back the debt in 3 days or work as a prostitute in a brothel to work of the debt. Otherwise her throat would be cut.
She could not approach a charity as they would not pay a drug dealer and if she told the police she would be found out and killed. She has previously ignored warning of other homeless people not to get involved with a drug dealer but when she was in trouble, she sought help from them. Over the next 3 days, the homeless people raised the money from stealing, dealing drugs and prostitution. Elle was then taken to the station by the same homeless people and given money for a train home. They told her if she was ever seen again in Kings Cross she would be beaten within an inch of her life. They told her to take the chance and never come back. Being young and naive, in the process of getting to know the dealer, she had given her real name and said where her parents live, so she is still at risk.
http://www.homeless.org.au/people/elle.htm
I also found an article from the guardian on runaways
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/apr/23/childrensservices.observermagazine
which I thought had some interesting and some harrowing facts:
- 100,000 children are estimated to runaway each year
- Some reported cases are of children as young as 11
- Common reasons of running away are rows with parents and a troubled home life; kids feel like they need to escape the drama and get a breather
- Teenagers who runaway often end up committing crimes and getting involved in drugs
- Teenagers who runaway are often abused on the streets and raped
- Many kids who runaway are in children's care homes or foster care
- Girls are statistically more likely to runaway than boys
- Girls living on the streets are at risk from "grooming" and some often turn to prostitution
- Many runaways don't see themselves as victims, or feel the dangers of living on the streets, they think it's normal, it's become a way of life to them, a subculture
- Currently there are just 10 refuges specifically for runaway teenagers in the whole country and even these are under threat from government cut backs
Here is a list of other websites I visited for research:
- http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Was-A-Teen-Run-Away/157257
- http://brandysbedroom.wordpress.com/2011/07/02/hindsight-a-teen-runaway-story/
- http://www.middletownpress.com/articles/2010/12/20/news/doc4d0ec695a2b68117474788.txt
- http://www2.lv.psu.edu/jkl1/runawaylives/readstories.html
Research Analysis:
The models in my photo shoot will both be female. Therefore I thought it was best to represent female runaways only so this is who I researched. At the start of my research, I stated that I will be using the findings from my research to inspire me to create my own back story which I will then base my "look" on. However, once I researched further, I recognised many similarities between stories of different runaways. I then began thinking of runaways as a separate subculture. I have now decided to base my "look" on the collective experiences of runaways, just like the aesthetic of punk expressed the collective experiences of a particular group of people.
Runaways usually come from damaged families, and have been abused or neglected by parents. Running from home can be traced back many times to poor relationships with parents. Arguments with parents sometimes offset running away. The subjects I researched were often very vulnerable, naive and deeply troubled. They are often people who have a lack of support or options, feel trapped and feel the need to escape. Running away is often a cry for help and an expression of emotional pain or distress. As well as coming from disrupted families, many people who have runaway have also been bullied or felt very unloved and alone. Those who runaway are also often at an age where they are dealing with a very hormonal and emotionally unsettled stage of their life so this coupled with deep personal problems takes an emotional toll.
Girls are statistically more likely to runaway than boys and are more at risk from rape, abuse and exploitation on the streets. Many feel so unhappy at home they become desperate and run towards these dangers, regardless of the consequences. On the streets, hey often indulge in drugs and alcohol and many turn to crime. Cases where very young girls have been "groomed" by much older men were common.
With the makeup/styling/photo shoot, I want to express emotion and feeling. I imagine the thoughts and feelings of these runaways to be of hurt, confusion, loss, neglect, exhaustion, fear and anger, to name a few.
Teenage Cancer Patients:
Freya's Story:
Freya's best friend Lottie was diagnosed with cancer. Her right calf was swollen and painful. Doctors suggested it was a blood clot or badly set broken bone before diagnosing cancer. When Freya heard the news she felt distant and cried a lot. She wrote Lottie a card but didn't really know what to do. Lottie had an operation to remove a bone and tendon from her calf. She had a month's chemotherapy and her hair fell out. She would always wear wig and makeup.
One year on and Lottie was celebrating going into remission. However, a couple of weeks later the cancer returned and spread up the blood vessels in her leg. She was going to have to have her leg amputated but still wanted everything to carry on as normal. She found it difficult losing the ability to be independent. She couldn't get around by herself and became very self conscious. However, she remained positive and received a lot of visitors. She then had her final and most aggressive chemotherapy. She received a lot of cards, letters and presents during this time.
The chemotherapy had to be delayed because her liver wasn't functioning properly. By the time they realised what the problem was, the cancer had spread to her lungs, back and abdomen. Lottie told Freya "they can't cure me". She had been given a terminal diagnosis. Lottie remained friendly and positive towards others and carried on with friends as normal. Eventually Lottie passed away but her friends, including Freya were determined to carry on her memory and move on and stay positive.
http://www.teenagecancertrust.org/get-clued-up/young-peoples-stories/freya-gamlen/
Christina's Story:
At age 18, Christina was diagnosed with cancer in right thigh. Two years prior, the lump in her leg had been diagnosed as something else. Two years later, her leg began really hurting and the lump grew larger. Her parents kept putting the doctors off because they didn't want to believe anything was wrong with their daughter. Finally, when they did see someone, she was told she would need a biopsy on her right thigh. She couldn't believe she might have cancer. She tried to distract herself by going out whilst waiting for results. When she went to give her the results, she was given the diagnosis. At that moment, her life had changed forever and she cried and cried. Her mum tried to comfort her.
Christina would need four sessions of chemo, each a week long, then chemo for 6 weeks then surgery. She started seeing the world from a different view. She was petrified about what would happen, how her life would change, and how she would cope. It was a big blow losing her hair but she got a human hair wig. She lost many friends but learned who her true ones were. She was able to start college but missed out on a lot of classes and college parties during chemo. She found the chemo very scary but tried to keep a good attitude.
She became overly depressed when her friends left for college but seeing a therapist really helped deal with and understand her situation.
Christina started getting better during radiation therapy. She started going out more and having fun. Luckily she had not got sick or lost weight during treatment. She was relieved when her hair grew back afterwards. She began taking online college classes as she was determined not to fall behind. She eventually had surgery to remove the tumour and had to go to physical therapy once her treatment was over.
Christina did end up surviving cancer. She said it was scary going through cancer and not knowing what will happen. However, it made her a lot stronger and more mature. Her advice as a survivor is to have a positive attitude, to take everyday as it comes, and to not stop living life.
http://www.teenslivingwithcancer.org/category/community/survivor-stories/
Mel's Story:
Mel's dad died of cancer when she was a small girl. She spent her 10th birthday in hospital, diagnosed with cancer. Her parents kept a lot of secrets about her condition from her to keep her safe. This just made her even more scared and upset. She felt pain inside her body but didn't know what was wrong with her. Her hair fell but her mum assured her it would grow back but did not tell her why it was falling out. Her parents eventually began telling her a little more about her condition. They told her she had Leukaemia and said it was like the flu. They cried a lot. Mel still didn't fully understand her condition. She thought once she was cured she could not get the cancer again. Then she realised she could. She struggled with this lack of control.
One day when Mel was playing baseball, she got hit in the knee and plummeted to the ground in pain. The bone had been broken and she was diagnosed in hospital, this time with bone cancer. A tumour was growing under the knee which weakened it, causing it to break. She cried when the doctor explained her condition. The chemotherapy made her really sick. She was devastated because she couldn't play the sports she wanted due to risk of infection. This made her really depressed and she didn't want to do anything. There was a possibility of a leg amputation. Mel felt her whole world falling apart. She started questioning whether she deserved her condition or whether she was to blame. She lost all hope and felt there was nothing to look forward to.
Then doctor gave her good news; with more chemo she should be cured. From then on, Mel became more hopeful and positive. She started paying attention to visitors and realised she was much loved. Her older brothers visited every day. She got better and went back to being a regular teenager. Then on one 6 month check-up, she was diagnosed again with Leukaemia. She locked herself in her room and didn't eat, just slept. She didn't care anymore; she had got really depressed again. She didn't listen to her parents, she ignored visits and presents, missed school and lost contact with most friends. Then, one day her best friend came to visit. She was really embarrassed because she smelt really bad, her hair was dirty and she didn't want him to see her like this. He told her not to give up and she agreed to her first session of chemo.
Mel's body wasn't responding to the chemo and a bone marrow transplant was suggested. The transplant would come from one of her older brothers, which he was happy to offer if it meant his sister's recovery. During the surgery she had a large group of family and friends waiting and supporting her which gave her strength. Her body did accept her brother's bone marrow. She just had to go for checkups after that. The experience had made her scared but a whole lot stronger. It has now been 8 months since Mel's surgery and she is still healthy. She says of the experience that it changed her as a person. She doesn't care about little things anymore, she takes alot less for granted and it has given her the strength to deal with other things that have happened in her life since. She feels that she couldn't have done it without friends and family. She has learnt to have faith, be optimistic, and let love in, as it makes you stronger. She tried to remove herself from loved ones as she did not want to hurt them but wished she hadn't. Sometimes she wishes she did not have to experience having cancer 3 times but then she thinks she would not be the same person.
http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa011101a.htm
Amanda's Story:
Her mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer when Amanda was aged 11 and on the date of her brother's birthday. The whole family was in shock and disbelief. Amanda was very young and didn't really know exactly what cancer was. She had heard of it but never thought it would affect her. She didn't understand the change the family would go through. She was scared and confused and the thought of losing her mum was unbearable.
Her mum at first seemed fine and healthy. Then the cancer got more aggressive and spread. She began having bouts of chemo and radiation therapy. She lost her health, energy, figure and hair but remained strong and positive. Her mum's courage and strength made Amanda believe she would get better.
Then it all came crashing down; her mum was told she only had 2 weeks to live unless she had an operation. This made Amanda very nervous but the operation turned out to be successful and she believed everything would be ok again. However, a couple of months later, she got sick again and the cancer got bigger. This time, she was told she had 3 days to live unless she had a major operation which was very dangerous. She was put in intensive care. There she developed a blood clot in her arm and leg which was really dangerous. She couldn't speak because of a breathing tube. She got a little better and was released from intensive care but decided to stay in the hospice where she stopped having treatment.
At that moment, everything sunk in for Amanda. She realised how hard her mum had fought but that she was extremely ill. Her mum aimed to be home for Christmas which she was. After Christmas, the whole family went on holiday. Everything seemed to be getting better again but this time Amanda new the cancer was still there and that she couldn't anticipate what would happen. On holiday her mum had several fits and was emitted back into hospital. There, she went into a coma. Amanda's dad explained the reality and that she would die. She eventually passed away. After she passed, people remarked on how well Amanda was coping, although she thought this was a facade. She eventually found out about a cancer support group from her sister. Since joining, they have helped her cope really well and she has made several great friends with similar experiences.
http://www.nowwhat.org.au/stories/view/i-was-scared-and-confused
Lisa's Story:
It was Lisa's last year of high school and she had just gotten over glandular fever. She had exams coming up and was preparing for upcoming football matches, hoping to make captain, so had a lot on her mind. Things seemed to be going well until she found a bruise on her upper leg. The mark was so dark she initially thought it was dirt and tried to wipe it off but didn't think much of it. After a few weeks, more bruises appeared on her knees and ankles. Her mum and most of her friends weren't too worried and said it was probably late effects from the glandular fever or low iron.
Then one morning, Lisa woke up with a bruise the size of a grapefruit on her back leg. Her mum booked an appointment with their GP right away. The morning before the appointment, blood blisters developed on her tongue, her inner mouth and her lips. Her mum took her to the doctor right away who sent her straight to the hospital. In the emergency ward she felt weak and cold. She was admitted over night but thought nothing of it. She was given extensive blood and bone marrow tests. After the tests she was diagnosed with leukaemia. She was told they caught it quick and she would not have survived past 6 weeks otherwise. She was complete shock.
Her hair fell out very quickly after treatments began. She missed a lot of school, rarely saw friends and missed all the fun parts of the last year. She really didn't want to repeat her last year. When she got a little better she received a visit from a cancer support group patient and staff member. It really helped sharing cancer experience stories. She couldn't do anything by herself apart from sleep but she stayed positive and believed that everything happens for a reason.
Her friends told her she had become a better person from the experience. Lisa thinks it was all down to the cancer support group. She met lots of great new people from the group. Cancer made her see what was really important; exams and petty fights with friends didn't matter as much. Being sick gave her time to think who she was and what she wanted to do with her life. She learnt to appreciate others more and to see the best in people. She realised how much she appreciated and loved her family.
Lisa will soon have been in remission for a year. She is currently studying photography. Even though the medical treatments sometimes get her down a bit, she tries to make her life as happy as possible and lives life to the full. She says you never know how long you are going to have and at anytime something could happen that changes your world.
http://www.canteen.org.au/default.asp?articleid=797&menuid=86
Research Analysis:
Like with the runaways, the victims of cancer I researched shared similar experiences, thoughts and emotions. I will also be looking at cancer victims as a subgroup, whose collective experiences and feelings will be reflected in my finished "look". Cancer is a very emotive subject. I have
Cancer is a physically and emotionally painful experience. It is common for victims of cancer and their friends and family to experience feelings of distance once the diagnosis has been made. Some patients purposely distances themselves from loved ones as they do not want to hurt them or they feel shame. It is a very emotionally distressing time for all involved. Both the victim and those they are close often have a complete loss of what to do and feel helpless and powerless. These feelings are amplified when the diagnosis is terminal and they have to struggle with the inevitability that they are fighting a losing battle and soon their body won't be able to keep up anymore. I can imagine it must be completely shattering feeling that the cancer is slowly destroying you. Imagine it would feel like hitting a dead end and feeling let down.
A significant experience from battling cancer is losing your hair from chemotherapy. This usually makes cancer patients very self conscious and it greatly affects their confidence. For some people, hair plays a huge part in shaping your identity, most commonly in females. By losing their hair, the foundation of what makes them them, is being stripped away which must be very soul destroying. The loss of independence can be a big blow. Cancer patients find themselves weakening and that they can't do things they once took for granted. It might feel like you're starting to fade away. This is why many cancer sufferers end up being depressed, lose hope and faith and feel like giving up. When you keep fighting, and keep getting sick, like those who have had cancer multiple times, it must be very disheartening. It's also really hard for teenagers with cancer because they have to miss out on many key experiences and social aspects of growing up.
Some start blaming themselves and questioning whether they deserve what is happening to them. The truth is cancer can happen to anyone and it is inevitable. The struggle with coming to terms with their situation is very difficult. They have a complete lack of control over their circumstances. Some go through denial and don't want to believe they are actually sick. The initial reactions to a diagnosis are often shock, confusion, disbelief and fear. These feelings must be very overwhelming. It can feel like their whole world is falling apart. Unlike the victims from the runaway stories, cancer patients cannot runaway from their problems. Cancer is very real and stays with you wherever you go. Accepting this is heartbreaking.
Another thing to think about is those who are indirectly affected by the cancer. When the patient is really young, sometimes the parents are very overprotecting and keep secrets from them to save them from distress. This can make the sufferer even more scared, upset and alone. Some people lose loved ones to cancer and many find it hard to cope. It can make them feel like they're crashing and breaking down inside. However, some can find the strength and support to carry on and preserve the victim's memory.
These stories also have a positive side to them. Suffering from cancer is usually a time that these people find a lot of love and support from those they are close to. Although it changes their life for ever, many people gain a new, positive perspective on life. People who have suffered cancer usually take less for granted and then live life to the full if they recover. A lot of people think they become better people from cancer. When the patient is so young, they definitely become more mature as they are forced to grow up fast to deal with their situation. Cancer really tests the capacity of a person. Among the positive attributes people find within themselves when they have cancer are hope, faith, strength and courage. Many show a lot of determination to fight the cancer, especially for their loved ones. Some cancer stories do have a happy ending and some people do survive. The feelings of the patient and their loved ones when this happens are relief and joy.
One of tutors looked at my life story research to check my progress. She suggested that to improve my research I could talk to real people who have experienced running away or cancer. Although this would provide me with primary research I do not think it is necessary. All the stories I researched were real life stories and were very open and honest. I do not want to spend anymore time researching the theme as I have enough adequate information to inspire me and the development and creation stages will be very time consuming. Also, both subjects are very sensitive and I think I would find it hard finding the right people willing to talk about their experiences.
I want to begin generating initial designs very soon. Before designing, I will produce a few mind maps in my sketch book on my theme to focus my design ideas.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Inspiration for FMP
As an aspiring makeup artist, I am interested in people's identity and the role image plays in forming this. I thought the theme of identity would be a good starting point for my project. However, it is too broad a subject so I needed to find a more specific theme related to identity to base my project on. I took an interest in subcultures as they can be very central to someone's identity. However, I could not take inspiration from the style of dress, hair and makeup seen in specific subcultures as I cannot translate a style into a style. This would just be a direct copy. I thought I could still take inspiration from subcultures, other than the image. I read Dick Hebdige's book Subculture's: the Meaning of Style as research and to get ideas for a specific project theme.
Dick Hebdige takes an almost philosophical approach to analysing and explaining the existence of subcultures, specifically those that arose that emerged up to the late 1970s, particularly punk. Everyone's experiences of subcultures are different and everyone interprets them differently. Hebdige's analysis is not necessarily the correct one, although he does come up with some very interesting ideas on subcultures.
He suggests that subcultures could be a place of security for young people struggling to form an identity. Subcultures do just this; they give a person an identity. However, subcultures could be seen by some people as pretentious and those belonging to them as posers. The image plays a huge part in subcultures. Some people might join subcultures to fit in or because of peer pressure. Subcultures can give young people street cred. They can be a haven for the insecure. Hebdige says subcultures could be a "mask to escape the principal of identity".
However, subcultures can also be a place of innovation, creativity and productiveness. To some it is a lifestyle and something to be taken very seriously. They can be a real statement. London was a cultural melting pot. Some subcultures emerged from taking different elements of different cultures to create a new style/identity. Subcultures can be very expressive. Hebdige said of punk: "various stylistic ensembles were expressions of genuine frustration, aggression and anxiety". Style can be an extension of a person's personality and a way to try out new personas to discover who you are.
Those belonging to subcultures of the late 1970s were usually of working class, in disadvantaged or unsatisfactory circumstances. Subcultures were an alternative source of self esteem. It feels good and exciting to belong and be part of something new. In a way subcultures took away a person's class and reinvented them into someone of significance.
Punk:
Punks played up their alienation and alternativeness. They embraced being rejected. This was a symbol of empowerment. Punk spoke for the neglected working class youth metaphorically through chains, dirty clothing and ironic dress. Punks were to "make something of what is made of them"; "to embellish, decorate, parody and wherever possible to recognise and rise above a subordinate position which was never of their choosing". Punk was liberating but "condemned to act out alienation". It "voluntarily assumed" a perceived hopeless condition of "exile and rejection".
In the 1970s and 80s, young people started to challenge conventional dress and chose went for styles that were daring and sexually ambiguous. That eccentric and confrontational style of dress can be liberating. In those days there wasn't as much variety and alternatives as there are today. You couldn't buy the aesthetic; the styles seen in subcultures were very much DIY. Punk bore style statements that are still iconic today i.e. the safety pin, the rip etc. The punk aesthetic was a contradiction; it appeared to be careless and scruffy but was meticulously styled. Punk was also quite provocative. Punks took to attire associated with pornography. Hebdige suggested bondage could be a reflection of the narrow options of the working class youth.
David Bowie:
David Bowie had an extremely huge influence on subcultures in the 70s and 80s. If punk was about making a statement on the reality, then Bowie was about escaping from everyday life into a fantasy world where an alternative identity could be explored and expressed. Interest shifted away from class and gender to sexuality and gender typing. Dressing was androgynous yet very artful.
Consumerism:
Subcultures are quite ironic as subcultures arise from a group of people wanting to be different and to set themselves apart from others and yet over time everyone ends up being like everyone else; it becomes a trend. They become "passive teenage consumers" instead if being a youth culture who thinks for themselves.
Inspiration for FMP:
I really liked Hebdige's idea of punk being a metaphor for the working class's unfortunate circumstances and the idea that punks created something artistic and brilliant out of something negative. I wanted to take this philosophy of using a person's style as a metaphor and use it as a starting point for my FMP theme. I came up with the idea that I could take a couple of issues that concern youths and translate people's experiences into "looks". I want my project to relate to youth culture. Like the subcultures I researched, I want my "looks" to be creative, innovative, daring and eccentric. I liked the idea of escaping into a fantasy so I want to go for an avant-garde approach. I also like the DIY mentality of the punk subculture. I want to include upcycled materials in my "looks" and customise garments.
Dick Hebdige takes an almost philosophical approach to analysing and explaining the existence of subcultures, specifically those that arose that emerged up to the late 1970s, particularly punk. Everyone's experiences of subcultures are different and everyone interprets them differently. Hebdige's analysis is not necessarily the correct one, although he does come up with some very interesting ideas on subcultures.
He suggests that subcultures could be a place of security for young people struggling to form an identity. Subcultures do just this; they give a person an identity. However, subcultures could be seen by some people as pretentious and those belonging to them as posers. The image plays a huge part in subcultures. Some people might join subcultures to fit in or because of peer pressure. Subcultures can give young people street cred. They can be a haven for the insecure. Hebdige says subcultures could be a "mask to escape the principal of identity".
However, subcultures can also be a place of innovation, creativity and productiveness. To some it is a lifestyle and something to be taken very seriously. They can be a real statement. London was a cultural melting pot. Some subcultures emerged from taking different elements of different cultures to create a new style/identity. Subcultures can be very expressive. Hebdige said of punk: "various stylistic ensembles were expressions of genuine frustration, aggression and anxiety". Style can be an extension of a person's personality and a way to try out new personas to discover who you are.
Those belonging to subcultures of the late 1970s were usually of working class, in disadvantaged or unsatisfactory circumstances. Subcultures were an alternative source of self esteem. It feels good and exciting to belong and be part of something new. In a way subcultures took away a person's class and reinvented them into someone of significance.
Punk:
Punks played up their alienation and alternativeness. They embraced being rejected. This was a symbol of empowerment. Punk spoke for the neglected working class youth metaphorically through chains, dirty clothing and ironic dress. Punks were to "make something of what is made of them"; "to embellish, decorate, parody and wherever possible to recognise and rise above a subordinate position which was never of their choosing". Punk was liberating but "condemned to act out alienation". It "voluntarily assumed" a perceived hopeless condition of "exile and rejection".
In the 1970s and 80s, young people started to challenge conventional dress and chose went for styles that were daring and sexually ambiguous. That eccentric and confrontational style of dress can be liberating. In those days there wasn't as much variety and alternatives as there are today. You couldn't buy the aesthetic; the styles seen in subcultures were very much DIY. Punk bore style statements that are still iconic today i.e. the safety pin, the rip etc. The punk aesthetic was a contradiction; it appeared to be careless and scruffy but was meticulously styled. Punk was also quite provocative. Punks took to attire associated with pornography. Hebdige suggested bondage could be a reflection of the narrow options of the working class youth.
David Bowie:
David Bowie had an extremely huge influence on subcultures in the 70s and 80s. If punk was about making a statement on the reality, then Bowie was about escaping from everyday life into a fantasy world where an alternative identity could be explored and expressed. Interest shifted away from class and gender to sexuality and gender typing. Dressing was androgynous yet very artful.
Consumerism:
Subcultures are quite ironic as subcultures arise from a group of people wanting to be different and to set themselves apart from others and yet over time everyone ends up being like everyone else; it becomes a trend. They become "passive teenage consumers" instead if being a youth culture who thinks for themselves.
Inspiration for FMP:
I really liked Hebdige's idea of punk being a metaphor for the working class's unfortunate circumstances and the idea that punks created something artistic and brilliant out of something negative. I wanted to take this philosophy of using a person's style as a metaphor and use it as a starting point for my FMP theme. I came up with the idea that I could take a couple of issues that concern youths and translate people's experiences into "looks". I want my project to relate to youth culture. Like the subcultures I researched, I want my "looks" to be creative, innovative, daring and eccentric. I liked the idea of escaping into a fantasy so I want to go for an avant-garde approach. I also like the DIY mentality of the punk subculture. I want to include upcycled materials in my "looks" and customise garments.
Pathway and Previous Projects
Prior to my FMP, I completed three projects where makeup and styling was the final outcome. I have an interest in all areas of makeup i.e. fashion, film and TV, and want to be skilled in each of these areas to keep my options open.
Within my three projects I experimented in conceptual fashion makeup, and character makeup.
Here are images from my first project where I had to create a design based on the theme of "ordinary/extraodinary" and I took a high fashion approach:
Within my three projects I experimented in conceptual fashion makeup, and character makeup.
Here are images from my first project where I had to create a design based on the theme of "ordinary/extraodinary" and I took a high fashion approach:
I was extremely happy with the results of this shoot. I am interested in high fashion makeup because it can allow you to be highly conceptual, artistic and experimental. I am inspired by fashion makeup that pushes the boundaries and explores different looks. I am inspired by the type of makeup you see in magazines such as i-D and Dazed and Confused and makeup looks from companies such as M.A.C and Illamasqua. I would like to experiment a lot more in high fashion makeup and stretch my design and technical skills. I would like to extend my fashion makeup portfolio with very innovative designs.
Here is my final piece from my second project where I also took a conceptual fashion approach and took inspiration from and article based on the cuts to education:
For this project I didn't apply actual makeup because I had a small budget but I projected the makeup design onto the model's face. I also used a blue wig. I think the result is really interesting, innovative and modern. I love being experimental and I think high fashion makeup allows me to do this. I want to experiment with more innovative ways of creating a makeup look to stretch my creative ability. I also found that when choosing unusual sources of inspiration, I generate really interesting designs.
Here is one of the shots I took in my third project of a character I created for a game show:
I really enjoyed this project as I had to think about the character's persona and how I wanted to portray him and how I would integrate this into the design. I found that this project allowed me to be very creative and I found that having a character to portray really helped me with designing. I researched a lot of makeup methods and tried out a lot of new skills for this project so my technical ability really improved. I am fascinated by the technical skill in TV and film makeup. However, I do think it can limit your creativity as opposed to high fashion makeup as you have to fit the design to the character and what the writer/director wants. I would still like to improve my skill and technical ability in this area.
For my FMP I would like to take a High fashion approach.
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Career as a Makeup Artist
Last week I had my first experience of being a makeup artist on a collaborative photoshoot. It was a great experience and gave me a taster as to what it would be like working as a makeup artist. I loved the thrill of having to work under pressure and working as part of a team. The creative process was a lot of fun and the end result was really fulfilling. This experience made me sure that this was the career path I wanted to follow.
I have a friend who is an aspiring stylist and is currently in her first year of a fashion styling degree at Middlesex Uni. She had a major photoshoot/styling project where she was collaborating with a second year photography student and asked me to be the makeup artist/hair stylist on the shoot. This was a great opportunity for me to network (make contacts with photographers), gain valuabe experience in my chosen field and to improve/build on my portfolio.
They made a facebook group to which I joined which made it easy to discuss ideas and prepare for the shoot. I have been extremely busy with my own personal projects and it was mostly their project so I was very inactive in the group at the beginning and didn't contribute until later on. Alot had gone on and the group had faced some setbacks. Their initial theme was Roadkill but then very close to the shooting date they had to change the theme because they were unable to present the Roadkill theme in a shoot for reason's I cannot remember. When I became more active in the group the concept and look of the shoot was still a little blurry. I stepped in and contributed ideas to help the group and project come together. The new theme was clowns. Both of the other group members were clear that they wanted the concept to be quite dark. The photographer had a fashion designer friend and was able to get his hands on these outfits (below) for the shoot.
I did my own quick research on the theme to inform my makeup designs. I
started with the history of clowns to get some inspiration. The inspiration for
my makeup concept came when I came across a very famous clown of the 1930s
called "Weary Willie", played by Emmett Kelly (below).
Weary Willie was a tragic figure and based on the "hobo" clowns of
the depression era. While he achieved huge success with his character, his wife
eventually filed for divorce, claiming that the character had taken over his
personality. Their son, Emmett Kelly Jr took on the role of Weary Willie
after his father's retirement but his wife also thought it took over her
husband's personality. Paul Kelly, son of Emmett Kelly Jr began performing as
Weary Willie after he lost a leg in a train accident. Simultaneously, he slid
into a life of drugs and sexual freedom. He was eventually arrested for the
murders of two of his homosexual partners, to which he both admitted. He was
diagnosed with multiple personality disorder shortly after.
I liked the concept of this persona taking over the
subject and making them go gradually insane. I wanted to represent this concept
by having a few different makeup looks but where each look built on the last,
with the makeup gradually getting more intense and dramatic. I shared this idea
with the photographer and stylist and they loved it.
I wanted the intensity to be in the eye makeup and the rest of the makeup to be simple. Below are my first ideas of how the makeup could gradually "grow":
I then decided to scrap this idea because I wanted
the makeup to match the bright warm colours of the clothes. I decided to go for
a warm pallette of bright oranges, yellows and bronze for the eyes. I wanted
the model to then have bright red lips. I thought this would compliment the
clothes and the rest of the makeup very well. Although it was pretty I didn't
like my branch idea for the concept as it did not show the model going crazy. I
thought I could have the makeup gradually running (as if crying) and the
colours becoming more intense to show the emotional distress of the subject.
These are the designs I came up with:
We all had a meet up the day before the shoot to discuss our ideas, prepare for the shoot, and see how our individual work would come together. The feedback of my designs was great. They both loved the drama of my designs and thought I should keep it exactly how it is. We all agreed that the makeup should start of "normal" for the first few shoots and then start to get intense. The model had been sorted by the photographer. He found her on modelmayhem.com and she has offered up her details and seemed reliable.
The night before I prepared for the shoot. I have learned from experience of other shoots that it is very helpful and makes your work much more efficient if you write up a step by step plan of the makeup and also make a list of all the tools and materials needed.
On the day of the shoot I planned my journey to get there early. I got to the studio in good time to set up my station so I could begin quickly on the model when she arrived.
An hour into the studio booking, the model still
had not arrived and had not got in contact despite us calling and texting her
several times. We had also asked her to get there an hour before we had booked
the studio for. We were all panicking but the photographer ran into someone on
his course who fit the clothes (the studio was at the
university) and she agreed to fill in as the model. Our original model was
black and the new one was white and I had only packed base makeup for black
skin. My model was already wearing foundation and had good skin so I worked with
this and kept the rest of the makeup design the same. I thought this was good
experience of set backs that can occur on a shoot and how to deal
with them. I will now know for future that it is essential to always have base
makeup i.e. foundation and concealer for every skin colour with you on every
shoot you go on. I also found out that it was useful to carry hair bands and
bobbypins in your kit. Me at work:
I worked very efficiently and within the timescale
and the photographer and stylist were really happy with the makeup. On the
shoot I realised that intense studio lighting can wash out colours So makeup
may need to be more exaggerated (not like real life). I may need to invest in
highly pigmented professional products that can overcome this. My work might
have been improved if I had applied the makeup in lighting similar to that of
how it would be on shooting, although I did apply it underneath a bright light.
These are just a few images taken from the photoshoot:
I have a friend who is an aspiring stylist and is currently in her first year of a fashion styling degree at Middlesex Uni. She had a major photoshoot/styling project where she was collaborating with a second year photography student and asked me to be the makeup artist/hair stylist on the shoot. This was a great opportunity for me to network (make contacts with photographers), gain valuabe experience in my chosen field and to improve/build on my portfolio.
They made a facebook group to which I joined which made it easy to discuss ideas and prepare for the shoot. I have been extremely busy with my own personal projects and it was mostly their project so I was very inactive in the group at the beginning and didn't contribute until later on. Alot had gone on and the group had faced some setbacks. Their initial theme was Roadkill but then very close to the shooting date they had to change the theme because they were unable to present the Roadkill theme in a shoot for reason's I cannot remember. When I became more active in the group the concept and look of the shoot was still a little blurry. I stepped in and contributed ideas to help the group and project come together. The new theme was clowns. Both of the other group members were clear that they wanted the concept to be quite dark. The photographer had a fashion designer friend and was able to get his hands on these outfits (below) for the shoot.
Each group member had there own interpretation of
the theme but these ideas were able to intertwine and relate. This was good
experience for the future where I will be collaborating as part of a team and
we will all need to make our ideas work as a whole.
I wanted the intensity to be in the eye makeup and the rest of the makeup to be simple. Below are my first ideas of how the makeup could gradually "grow":
Although we were shooting in a studio, the
photographer wanted to include bare branches in the props/scenery to give the
shoot a dark atmosphere. I generated these designs where the eye makeup
resembles branches and in each makeup look, the branches appear to grow and
develop:
We all had a meet up the day before the shoot to discuss our ideas, prepare for the shoot, and see how our individual work would come together. The feedback of my designs was great. They both loved the drama of my designs and thought I should keep it exactly how it is. We all agreed that the makeup should start of "normal" for the first few shoots and then start to get intense. The model had been sorted by the photographer. He found her on modelmayhem.com and she has offered up her details and seemed reliable.
The night before I prepared for the shoot. I have learned from experience of other shoots that it is very helpful and makes your work much more efficient if you write up a step by step plan of the makeup and also make a list of all the tools and materials needed.
On the day of the shoot I planned my journey to get there early. I got to the studio in good time to set up my station so I could begin quickly on the model when she arrived.
This was the most professional shoot I have ever
done. I'm really pleased with how it went. It was shot really well and captures
the makeup really well. Like I said before the colours/pigments could be a
little more amped up and if I was better prepared I could have made her skin
look even more flawless but I still think it looks good. The photographer was
very kind and said I could use any images I wanted for my portfolio. He will
send me the retouched versions when he's done with them. I thought this was a
great experience as I improved my portfolio, learned a lot and gained a new
contact.
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